Bankruptcy: How to talk about filing bankruptcy

Worried what people will think if you file bankruptcy?
Sally pulls up to the red light, blinking furiously to fight back the flood of tears that threaten to overwhelm her. She’s just left her lawyer’s office and he has advised her that it is time to file for bankruptcy. Until today she had never spoken the word out loud for fear of what it may do to her reputation. As a recently divorced single mom, she has prided herself on being self-sufficient and savvy. “How did this happen to me?” As the light turns green her thoughts switch to her family, her two beautiful twin boys who lover their new dog they rightly named Oreo. “How will I explain to my kids that Oreo will have to go to a new home?” And then there is Mike, her ex-husband, who has remained as a co-signor on the mortgage for the home she lives in with her sons. And then there are her parents, who will have unending questions. “What do I say to them? How do I explain that this is not the end of me?”
What do you say when you have to file bankruptcy?
If you’re considering bankruptcy  you probably have similar questions and concerns that Sally has. The characters may be different, but the storyline is the same: having the conversation with your friends and family about bankruptcy. Declaring bankruptcy can be a difficult experience for everyone that is involved. It often begins with coming to terms with the fact that there are no other options and this may be the best chance at a fresh start. If you’re wondering how to handle this difficult conversation with your loved ones, here are a few pointers to keep in mind.
Do you really need to tell anyone that you are filing bankruptcy?
Filing for bankruptcy is a very personal experience and it is up to you to decide who you want to share this information. It may be important to inform people who will be directly impacted such as family or friends whom you may owe money to or others who have co-signed on your debt.  How you share this information may be different with each family member or friend. You may decide to pull someone aside and tell them privately, while others might be briefed in a group setting.
Explain why bankruptcy is the best option.
Whether by your own decisions or extenuating circumstances, explain to your family what has led you to this point. This is not the time to play the blame game, but instead should allow everyone to understand the seriousness of the situation and why bankruptcy was the best option.
Be realistic that a bankruptcy may lead to some changes.
People fear change but people are absolutely terrified of unexpected change. Particularly with young families, it is important to explain the impacts of downsizing your current lifestyle to something more suitable for the current financial situation. The car, home or normal family leisure activity may no longer be possible. But also remember to highlight the benefits of doing a bankruptcy such as reduced debt burden, no more calls from creditors and a chance at a fresh start. Your strength and confidence will be important in helping others understand that this is the best step forward.
It is okay to ask for help when you are filing bankruptcy.
Bankruptcy is not something you have to face alone. Enlisting your family and friends by helping them to understand your needs can grow into a support system as those closest to you get behind the new step you are about to take.
Your friend is not a bankruptcy lawyer. 
There are too many myths about bankruptcy to rely on anyone who doesn’t deal with bankruptcy issues on a daily basis.  Although friends and family members may have good intentions, it is best to assume that they do not know what they are talking about when it comes to giving legal advice about filing bankruptcy.
Call an Experienced Bankruptcy Attorney
The hardest part about filing a bankruptcy is making the decision.  We all tend to fear the unknown. What really happens is usually not nearly as bad as what we feared.  The first step is to speak with an experienced bankruptcy lawyer.  Joe Volin and Trucly Pham Swartz are experienced bankruptcy attorneys.  You can meet with us for free and learn the truth about filing bankruptcy.
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